There are times you may not like what you find when you go searching

While I was at work on Saturday, March 2nd, I remembered that March 3rd was the birthday of the first love of my life. I had a few minutes waiting for a large print job to complete so I decided to Google search him.  My search produced an obituary for someone with the same name who died over a year ago. “No way, that can’t be him”, I said to myself but as I skimmed over more of the key words and dates, I realized it was definitely him. I read the obituary stunned, saddened and regretful. Stunned because the guy always took care of himself and was a runner for many years and he wasn’t that old. He was 12 years my senior and while I’m no spring chicken anymore, he still wasn’t that old.

Of course, I was very sad because overall he was a good guy and he was obviously taken too soon. According to his obituary, he was on a life-long dream vacation in Germany and had a massive stroke while abroad. I’m sure it happened so quickly, he never knew what happened and he probably didn’t suffer.

So why regretful? Not only was he my first love but he was the very first to truly, horrendously and immeasurably break my heart.   He’d never know the impact he ended up having in my future romantic life, not ever fully trusting anyone thereafter. I was only 19 at the time and there was a lot I didn’t understand and it wasn’t easy for me to speak about it with him. I was angry at him for hurting me but as the years went by and I grew up, I realized that we all make mistakes or do and say things we wish we could take back.  Even me.  I always thought I’d have a chance to speak with him someday if I ran into him and let him know I turned out okay.  Now I know that’s impossible and for that, I’m truly regretful.

D E T A I L S:
[the Skinnery] Anita skin
(fd) Superstar Sneakers
cheezu. teddy bear phone
HER – VALEN PANTY & TOP
KUNGLERS – Mae bracelet
Lunar – Rumi Jacket
Tram N0125 hair
[ploom] Telephone hair
[Fetch] Layla Glasses
[SHIFUKU] Loose relaxed pants

(Note that I’m wearing 2 different hairstyles by 2 different content creators so depending on which store you visit, each hairstyle on its own won’t look the same as what I’m wearing in the photo unless you also combine the 2 like I did.   It just so happened that each style by the 2 different creators had the same exact red color in their hairstyle!)

*Also wearing / HEAD / lel EvoX VIVIAN 3.1 and Maitreya Mesh Body – LaraX V1.0